Surpassing Understanding

‘The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’

Several nights ago I had a night to remember! I spent the evening with my 2 ½ year old (Alaina) and my 3 month old (Caleb) while my wife was babysitting for some friends. The night started off very normal. Caleb was down for a nap and I was playing Legos with Alaina. All of the sudden I had a strong feeling something wasn’t right. I got up and headed down the hall when I caught the unmistakable smell of something burning. I started to frantically search the house for the source of the smell. My search took me to the storage closet downstairs. I opened the door to the closet and found a bag of Alaina’s baby clothes that were beginning to burn! Somehow the bag was resting against an exposed light bulb in the closet; it was smoldering and starting to burn the ceiling. I quickly grabbed the bag and tossed it outside. Right at that moment all of the smoke detectors in the house went off! I ran upstairs and found a very frightened Alaina trembling terrified of the noise. I grabbed her and headed back downstairs. When I arrived downstairs I noticed a warm glow from outside coming through the curtains, as I opened the curtain I was shocked to find 7 to 8 foot flames rolling up the side of my house. It quickly turned into a comical scene as I tried to convince a 2 ½ year old that her daddy frantically running in and out of the house and all over the yard looking for something to use to extinguish the fire was totally normal. I kept telling her she had nothing to worry about… she wasn’t buying it!

I got the fire out and as my adrenaline started to subside I was overcome with thankfulness. Had I found that bag 1 minute later I would have discovered a closet completely engulfed in flames! I would have had no other choice than to grab my children, take them out into the cold and watch our house burn down! I can’t imagine what a terrible sight that would have been for Alaina! I have no doubt that the unshakable feeling that something wasn’t right was God telling me to act right now. I was so thankful for his caring for my family; however my most thankful moment was still yet to come.

After the excitement had passed Alaina was very unsettled by the whole experience. She would not let me leave her presence or put her down. As we headed into her room for bedtime that night she was still holding very tightly to her daddy. I really didn’t think she was going to be able to sleep in her room. I tried to go through our typical bedtime routine, but it just wasn’t happening. Finally, I asked Alaina if we could pray… she said yes, so I held her tightly in my arms as we talked to her heavenly Daddy about the event that was so rocking her night. I asked Him to hold her and give her peace. When I said amen, Alaina immediately crawled out of my lap and into her bed. As I just watched she said her own 2 year old prayers and went right to sleep. I left her room completely moved by the goodness of our Father!

I am aware that a 2 ½ year old has a very limited concept of God, yet in the midst of her lack of understanding God gave her real, tangible, unexplainable PEACE. This is God’s promise for me! He promises me a peace that transcends my own understanding to guard my heart and mind. Yet, I rarely seek peace in this way. Rather, I want to first understand, for I still somehow believe that understanding will result in peace. I have not understood so much of my life of late, however, the real problem is that I so often miss the beautiful fact that my Daddy is always there offering a peace that transcends everything else.

I can’t find the words to express to you the love I feel for my children. I love them fiercely. I desire nothing but good for them. I so hated seeing my daughter frightened that night! I was faced with my own powerlessness to provide her the peace she needed. Yet, as I walked away from her room I was completely convinced that her Daddy (and mine) had her firmly in His embraced… I still don’t fully understand how she was able to rest in the embrace of a God she doesn’t really understand. However, I just know I want to be more like her... I want to be able to rest in my lack of understanding and simply be held by my Father…

Stand Firm

“If you do not stand firm in your faith,

you will not stand at all.” Isaiah 7:9 B

These words are penetrating my soul at the moment. As I read this verse in Isaiah I notice it is underlined, highlighted, and circled in my bible. I remember how I so loved this verse and I can hear my old enthusiastic amen ringing in my head! I felt oh so confident in my determination to ‘stand in my faith’. I would never be shaken!

Oh how I was wrong! The words of this verse are so much more true to me today. However, I struggle more now than ever to ‘stand in faith’. In years past this was just a beautiful ideal. To me it meant nothing more than my effort to not overly worry about anything and then God would come through and prove I had nothing to worry about in the first place. Well, that is not standing in faith at all! That is just positive thinking and my own imagination. Faith goes so far beyond that understanding. Faith is a knowing that no matter what it looks like, feels like, or your own instincts tell you the only place of safety is in your knowledge of God. It is choosing to let Him into every part of your life (even the most painful) and submitting to His Holy work of healing. It is choosing to stay engaged with him even when the circumstances of life seem to be contradicting His character.

When my faith is being put to the fires, I am constantly looking for something else to stand firm in. Something more immediate, something I can control. When God in His infinite goodness brings me face to face with my doubts and brokenness, I still quickly buy into the lie that I can stand firm in something other than He. When I am slighted by a friend, suffering with pain, or struggling as a parent I just want to run to something else… anything else! I still believe that I can protect myself.

The truth of this verse however, has been confirmed over and over. God IS my only sure refuge. His answers for my pain may not be the immediate answer I am often seeking. Yet, when I have stood in faith and entrusted my weakness and fear to no other than God Himself, I have found a love and grace so far beyond the temporal relief my own efforts brought. Why then do I still so often choose to stand in anything other than being fully dependent on God to keep me? Oh Lord, save me from me!