For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. Romans 1:20

If it is true that God can be clearly seen and be understood by looking at what He has made, I think we would be wise to stop and listen to what creation is saying! I do not wish to engage in a debate around the politics (and there are a lot of politics!) of the climate change movement, rather I want to listen to what the planet is revealing about God and to take a moment to stand in awe of He who creates.

I believe we have been called to steward this planet well, however the key to being a good steward is an understanding of ownership. The moment a steward takes ownership of that which has been entrusted to him, he is no longer acting in the best interest of the owner. It is my belief that mankind has taken ownership of creation. We have banded together to proclaimed our reign as the gods of the universe. In order to maintain our role as the center of all, we have had to deafen our ears to the loud cries of the planet as it proclaims God the rightful ruler. Rather than teaching our children to awe at the beauty, order, and artistry of the masterwork of God, we instead fill them with the fear that the planet is on a tight rope and that we are to save the world. These tactics are filling our children with fear and anxiety while ignoring the fact that God is the one who holds the universe in the palm of His hand. We buy into the lie that this place is a fortunate accident just waiting to undo itself. We point to the fact that the balance needed to sustain life is so complex and fragile and therefore we must be the ones to control it. However, the complexity of earths design should begin to open our ears to the voice of creation pointing to the infinite unfathomable creator.

Think of the course of human history and the foresight of our God as He spoke and continues to speak the world into order. If you take the view that the earth appeared from some primordial soup, how do we account for the resilience of this rock we all occupy! How does this happy accident continue to sustain a massive population of nearly 7 billion? How do you explain the built in sustainability of this planet? We have forested nearly 83% of the worlds forest (a fact that is used to insight fear in our children) yet we currently have more forest than we did 100 years ago (a fact not told to our children). The forest can be reborn, why? Consider our carbon output, this is a source of much fear and controversy, yet to me this is another sign pointing to the amazing design of this planet! Our carbon output has increased dramatically since the dawn of the industrial age; however the ocean still continues to be able to process the increased output with no sign of reaching capacity. What a testament to the foreknowledge and grace of God, before the industrial age was even a thought, He had already built the perfect system to handle man’s advancements as well as our gross mismanagement. Are we to believe it’s just a 1 in a trillion shot that this planet came with a built in system to process man’s future endeavors? What a fortunate turn of events that every part of this place is designed for sustainability! What luck that the seasons change, the crops bloom, the rains replenish, and that the seas cleanse. God designed this planet to work! Don’t you think it is time to stand up and give all the glory and praise to the Creator and cease to bow down to His creation?

Consider our arrogance as humans for a moment; we have determined we know how to maintain this delicate balance! Take China for an example, with a soaring population and fear of not being able to sustain the growth, they enact strict population controls and tragically end the life of innumerable voiceless babies. What is the result of our own management? China now faces a population in sharp decline and the reality of not enough new life to sustain the country. How about our constant attempts to be Lord of the animal kingdom, we do not want an animal to go extinct because we determine it is not supposed to be. However, how many times have our efforts to re-introduce a species only done more damage to the delicate balance of the eco system? We never stop to seek the voice of the author of life; perhaps He truly meant that there was a time and season for everything under the sun. Perhaps each aspect of life is part of His perfect plan, and He knows when the purpose of each of His creations has been fulfilled.

I am not saying we should not care for our planet! I am only saying we should remove ourselves from the center of the universe and bow our knee to the God who made life to work. We should stop pretending to know best and thank God for His grace as He repairs and restores this home which we are unable to hold together. The greatest tragedy to me is that we have completely sold ourselves to a cause that we have very little control over, yet so many of us are not consumed with the real brokenness of this planet! The fact that as I sit to type these words thousands of children are dying of hunger is WRONG! Let’s cash in our carbon credits and spend them on orphans and widows! I can’t help but dream of what could be done if we all banded together and proclaimed Him ruler of the planet and spent our days consumed with bringing His healing to the broken! Isn’t it time to set our children free from the fear that the earth is on the brink and allow them the peace and confidence that comes from being in the masterfully care of the God who created them? Maybe then we could raise up a generation full of love for their fellowman and a passion to right the wrongs of injustice…

Blessed Defeat

Below is a prayer from my journal. It was in the moment of this prayer that I was confronted with the truth that much of my current struggle comes from my desire to be on the throne. I believe the lie that I am safest in my own care. In my desire for safety, I am fighting against Him who can alone keep me safe. I am beginning to know the freedom of being defeated! This prayer is now my reminder to quickly surrender to the safety of blessed defeat…

God,
I let go of the idea of control. I have longed to take the reins of my life for I do not trust you. I do not believe that you can provide the safety for which my control attempts to obtain. However, I have nowhere else to turn, I am fully and painfully aware that my sense of control is but an illusion and that my kingdom is but a pretense. So, here I am, trembling in fear for I must surrender my command. I confess my desire is to flee from you and return to a place of my own rule, yet I choose to stay here trembling at your feet fully aware of my defeat. In this moment I let my kingdom fall in surrender to you the only true King. As I stand in the rubble of my shattered reign, I am overcome by your Majesty and I proclaim you my King! You have overthrown my kingdom and what a joyous relief! No longer do I bear the weight of my kingship; I have been defeated by the King of Love. In your kindness you have removed me from my throne for I was enslaved by my own rule. However, what I had been deeply longing for was the freedom that comes from being in the care of the one true King. I am finally safe in the tender embrace of the all powerful, never changing, King! What a blessed defeat!

Purpose in Pain

In my last post I spoke of the time of darkness and pain I have been walking through. Although I must confess the journey continues and there are still moments of pain, for the most part I am simply overcome by the grace of God! He has opened my eyes to the purpose in my pain. I wrote the prayer below when I was 18 years old. Going into this season of trial I had no idea that it was the beginning of God answering this prayer from so many years ago:

“My heart feels so empty! It’s been broken to many times, parents that disappoint, friends that let you down. All my lost hopes and shattered dreams. I’ve built so many walls around my heart, walls that keep me from the joy and peace you died to give me and that keep me from your gentle and healing hands. So, Lord I give my heart to you, in your loving kindness tear down these walls. Though it may be painful I know your healing hand is at work, mending the broken pieces together with caring precision. With every thread your love becomes more real; with every piece you’re drawing me closer to you, until my heart beats with yours.”

God is at work! He is mending my brokenness. He is restoring me to the man He created me to be. In the midst of the pain, I feel hope dawning! I am confident that He who started this work is bringing it to completion. At times on this journey my flesh would scream for me to run from the pain! My instincts would tell me to protect myself and not to feel pain. Yet, God in His grace first started me on this path of healing by showing me more of Him. As the image of my creator gained clarity I found Him safer than the false shelters to which I used to run. He opened my eyes to the truth of who He is. Though I did not know how to trust Him, I began to believe Him trustworthy. As my heart dared to believe the truth of His grace, I began to find Him to be more than I had ever hoped.

Words fail to express the tenderness of God as He mends our wounds. When we began to know Him we find the courage to face our pain, and it is there we see its holy purpose. When we stop running from the hurt we will find the hand of God working for our highest good. In this place we discover a God who is so much more than we could have hoped for. We find Majesty Himself bending low to dress our wounds! We will find Him unashamed of our disease and skillfully working to remove our infection. Healing starts with knowing Him - this leads to knowing ourselves in relationship to him – which leads to the courage to face our brokenness and pain – this then allows us to find true healing and freedom! That is the journey I have been walking. Though I have felt much pain in this season, as I look back I can truly say this has been such a blessed time of my life! God is so trustworthy and good!!!

Darkness and Doubt

It has been a long time since I have sat down to write! I haven’t had the energy to put my fingers to the keys, nor had the clarity to express what has been on my heart. These past weeks and months have been a time of darkness and doubt in my life. I have been faced head on with the question of whether I will trust God with my life. But how do I trust Him when my past and my experiences in this world are shouting to me that I will be let down?

My faith and my reality seem to be at odds! If God has a plan and purpose for my life, why does everything seems to be failing? If the joy of the Lord is my strength, why am I so full of sadness? If He is my loving Father, why does he feel miles away in the midst of my pain? In the past, whenever I was confronted with these doubts, in an attempt to run from the pain, I would simply try to confess the ‘right’ answers to these questions. I would deny the doubt and stand on what I thought was faith. However, for the first time in my life I am allowing God to take me past the surface to the darkest parts of my life. Though this journey is one of pain, it is at this place I am beginning to truly see God. I am finding that His light is brighter than my deepest darkness and that he is neither afraid of nor offended by my doubts. I admit at times I want to leave this path and simply numb the pain. Yet, God in his infinite goodness is calling me to keep going, to honestly admit my doubts, face my fears, and confess all that dwells deep within my being. In this place of discovering who I really am I am actually discovering who He really is! Here I am finding the joy of knowing that though I am often unlovable, I am infinitely loved, that though I am covered in filth, I am eternally cleansed. I am discovering the bliss of being fully known and yet still fully loved, fully adored, and fully His.

This is the journey of the freedom of Christ! Christ has not only set us free from the punishment for our sin, he has also brought cleansing from its stain and healing from the pain of the sins committed against us. He will make us whole in spite of the brokenness of the world around us. When we honestly open our lives to him and allow him into the depth of our depravity, we will meet the God who heals us. We will find the confidence that comes from knowing we are fully known and still loved, cherished, and adored. We will find strength to walk in the healing of the cross of Christ and live in the fullness of joy that He died to give us…

Bread or Manna…?

Deuteronomy 8:16
16 He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you.

Much of the Israelites daily lives was all about making bread. They would spend hours in this process, from the gathering of the grains to preparing the ovens for baking. In their world of slavery and despair in Egypt, they found some comfort and peace in knowing they could still provide bread for themselves. Yet, God was preparing to show them their dependence on Him for even this most basic of needs.

As God rescues His people out of their captivity in Egypt, He brings them into the freedom of His provision. He took them to a place where their skill and understanding of providing food was useless to them. Instead, He gave them manna for bread! The food of angels to the world of man! What an amazing way for God to introduce himself as provider to His people and invite them to trust Him. Until now they had only known of God from His mighty works displayed in their flight from Egypt. They had not known Him as the God who cares for them. So God, in His goodness, brings them through a process of trust. Each morning He provides them enough manna for that day. Yet, they immediately in their humanity rush to take more, to set aside extra in case there isn’t enough tomorrow [Exodus 16]! He was asking them to humbly lay down their striving to care for themselves and to fully trust Him for their daily bread. This verse tells us why God chose to feed them this way, ‘to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you’. Why would this journey of faith bring a life of well being? A life lived in the comfort of our ability to care for our needs will always only be as secure as our circumstances. However, a life lived in God’s provision can bring a feast in the desert!

The story then brings us to the warning of verse 17, “You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." 18 But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth” This warning rings so true to me today in America! We have come to believe in ourselves apart from our dependence on the gracious goodness of our God who provides! We try to stand strong in our power and the strength of our hands, yet we wonder why everything seems to be turning to dust in our grasp. We are being confronted with our own inability as a nation and world. In this place of fear and uncertainty some are running to their governments to find security and safety, or they are running back to their own talents thinking they can keep themselves safe, but they forget that it was God who gave them their abilities. They try and take as much as they can, yet it is simply rotting on their shelves.

In this environment, it is an amazing time for God’s people to learn the lesson of manna! It is a time to allow God to give us our daily bread and let Him tell us how much is enough. It is a time to ask ourselves is my house, my health, and my pay check bread or manna? Am I willing to give myself fully into the care of my God and rest in the quiet peace that comes from knowing He is my provision? Am I ready to live my life fully in His Kingdom, not swayed by the comings and goings of this kingdom? Do I run in panic and fear on the reports of economic collapse, pandemics, climate change, and violence [Matthew 24:6]? Am I spending my efforts trying to preserve a life that is destined to die? Or rather do I trust Him enough to stand up as a voice of peace to those lost in fear? Will I spend myself on caring for those who are hurting and lost without the hope of the goodness of God? Will I be willing to go to the dark and dangerous corners of this world without fear for my life for I know He who cares for me? Will I rest easy knowing He will not fail to bring me to my eternal home? Will I be prepared to dine with the angels in the desert…?

Goodness and Faith

2 Chronicles 30:18-20
18 Although most of the many people who came from Ephraim, Manasseh, Issachar and Zebulun had not purified themselves, yet they ate the Passover, contrary to what was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, "May the LORD, who is good, pardon everyone 19 who sets his heart on seeking God—the LORD, the God of his fathers—even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary." 20 And the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.

I find in this passage a picture of real faith. Hezekiah instantly knew where his hope lay; it did not come from the purity of the people, or their ceremonies and traditions. His hope was simply in the goodness of God. Much of our appeals are typically based in something other than His goodness. We put our faith in our ability to believe something enough, or in our diligence to confess just the right things. However, our confidence only needs to be in knowing that He is good. Faith is simply an understanding and trust in the nature of God. Faith builds and grows as we allow God to reveal His nature to us; therefore, it can not be manufactured or drummed up by our own efforts to create it.

Faith is a natural response to our life being invaded by His goodness. I love how A.W. Tozer speaks of His goodness in the Knowledge of the Holy! Here he states “The goodness of God is that which disposes Him to be kind, cordial, benevolent, and full of good will toward men. He is tender hearted and quick of sympathy, and His unfailing attitude towards all mortal beings is open, frank, and friendly. By His nature He is inclined to bestow blessedness and He takes holy pleasure in the happiness of His people.” If we allow God to make the truth of His goodness deeply real in our life, we will find that faith has been born! We can now face the hardships of our life walking in the confidence that our heavenly Father is good and knowing that he will carry us through anything we face. Deeper trust emerges as His goodness entices us to open our lives to all of His attributes.

God is revealing Himself to His people! He is opening the door to a richness of life that only true faith can bring. He is replacing our faith in our beliefs, our formulas, and our confessions with a faith grounded in the unchanging beauty of Him. God is not who we have feared Him to be and He is far beyond everything we have dared to hope that He was. When we allow Him to invade our lives in truth we will taste of His goodness, everything else will start to seem empty as we remain simply hungry for more of Him...

Psalm 34:8
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Vines and Fruit

John 15:5-6
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

I have spent so much of my Christian life in a vain attempt at being ‘fruitful’. I would read verses of this nature and run off to prove to God and myself that I was a good and fruitful branch! I would bring Him my polished pieces of man made fruit and present them as proof of my own worthiness. However, beneath the surface I always knew that my peace was only plastic and my joy artificial. The truth is that Jesus was never asking me to go and through my own human efforts produce fruit. He spoke clearly in this passage that apart from him I can do nothing [verse 5]. My human attempts to produce fruit will only bring a life of pretending. Christ is calling us to a much different life in this story of vines and fruit…

I think the timing of this story tells us a great deal about its meaning. This parable comes right in the middle of John 14 through 16. This is a powerful portion of scripture in which Jesus begins unfolding for his disciples what the plan of redemption will truly mean; he is describing for them the profound difference in the way they will live. However, as you read this section of scripture you begin to see that the only thing the disciples were hearing was that Christ was leaving. They were already beginning to grieve the approaching loss of this man who had so changed their lives. I find it ironic that Christ uses this moment, in the middle of their grief to tell them that they must remain in him to be fruitful. I can only imagine how confused the disciples were at this apparent contradiction! Yet, as Jesus continues to speak his excitement seems to be building. Several times Jesus addresses his disciple’s sadness with the exclamation that the counselor is coming. Jesus knew of how the disciple’s lives would be changed by this gift of the Holy Spirit that awaited them! He knew that the intimacy they had felt with him while he walked on earth was only a glimpse of the closeness and friendship the Holy Spirit would bring. It is in this place of intimate communion through the Holy Spirit that Jesus describes this picture of a fruitful vine. He uses this not as a command to go and be fruitful, but rather as a warning to remain in the vine of the flowing Holy Spirit, because apart from this connection into the power of the living God we can do nothing.

The amazing part of these beautiful passages is what they mean for us. Jesus is speaking to us just as much as he was to the disciples. He is opening for us a path to a deeper understanding than our human mind could ever comprehend. He is offering to us access to a new way of living apart from our human strivings. He is telling us of the emptiness our vain attempts to produce fruit brings and asking us to stop pretending. He is calling us to allow the working of the Holy Spirit to replace our man-made fruits with the real and lasting fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is in this place of remaining in the vine of deep communion with God that the powerful sap of the Holy Spirit will produce the fruit that comes from a life lived in the intimate care of God…

Galatians 5:22-23
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

A Tale of Two Armors

1 Samuel 17:38-39
38 Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. 39 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. "I cannot go in these," he said to Saul, "because I am not used to them." So he took them off.

I just revisited the very familiar story of David and Goliath, I was struck by the humorous picture of David in Saul’s armor. Saul was chosen as King of Israel because of his imposing figure, he stood a head taller than everyone else. His armor would have been huge in comparison to this little boy David. He would have looked much like a child playing dress up in his parents’ clothes. Saul’s attempt to dress David in this earthly form of protection reveals the distinction between Saul and David’s source of confidence. Saul had learned to trust in his strength and power. David, on the other hand was just a boy facing a giant that he knew was beyond his ability to defeat. No amount of earthly weapons would change that, yet David had no doubt of the appending victory.

In this story we don’t detect even the slightest hint of fear in David. I used to always think of this as a tale of courage and of how God responds to boldness and faith. However, I really think it is more about David’s revelation of the nature of God in his life. David revealed his source of strength when he told of his deliverance from the lion and the bear [1 Samuel 17:34-37]. David was just as helpless against the fierce power of those creatures as he was against the Philistine. I would venture to guess that David’s first encounter with those terrifying beasts was a much different scene than the fearless David we see facing down Goliath. I imagine an image of a panic stricken boy terrified for his life and a powerful loving God overcoming the enemy that was seeking to harm His chosen one. As God revealed himself to David as his protector a bold confidence emerged. David no longer viewed his adversaries in relation to himself or his power, but rather in comparison to his Protector. In God even a giant is no threat.

When we are faced with fear we all so often, like Saul, run to our earthly armor. We try to convince ourselves that the threat is not beyond our own strength or ability to control. We will hide in the false protection of our job, our talents, our education, our drive and diligence, or in our relationships. We will try to stand strong in our pretend courage and act as though we are not afraid, yet God sees the quivering little child beneath the armor. He stands calling us to face the truth that the giant is to big for us. He is asking us to put down our earthy protection and take hold of His armor. An armor not of our strength but rather of His mighty power, His healing truth, His gift of righteousness, His perfect peace, and the power of His Spirit. He is inviting us to walk in the faith that comes from knowing God as our protector. He is inviting us to rest in the shadow of His mighty wings knowing that no advisory will be too big for Him…

Ephesians 6:10-18
The Armor of God
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

Paradox of Faith

What is God like? We spend much of our Christian life searching to answer this question. We have sought to discover Him in what we read about Him, in what others say, and in the experiences that have shaped our lives. We hear words meant to describe Him, beautiful words like… holy, powerful, merciful, gracious, loving, omnipresent, creator, and father. We tend to apply what our lives have taught us about such words, then give them a slightly loftier meaning and attach them to our image of God. In God however, these meanings are altogether different than anything we have ever known. For example, God’s love is not a higher version of my love for my wife; it is wholly different. We must accept that God’s nature is far outside the realm of our own understanding, and our attempt at making Him fit our definitions simply creates a god of our own imagination.

The tragedy is that we have become more comfortable with the gods we have created! Although it is only a broken picture of a god, at least we know what to expect. If we let go of the safety of the god of our imagination and accept that He is beyond our ability to comprehend, how then can we know what He is like? How do we trust that He is safe? So, in an attempt to hide from the fear of Him we create a god we can control. We pray to this image of the god we have created and wait for it to respond and confirm what we have believed about him. However, God in His grace withholds the answer we expect and seeks instead to reveal the truth of who He is… it is only in finding Him in truth that we are set free. [John 8:32]


When we begin to allow God to be just who He is, we will be confronted by His vastness, His holiness, His limitless power, and the infinite nature of His being. Our hearts will tell us to fear that which we can’t control; we will be tempted to return to our created god for we think him safer. However, we must resist, for when we come before Him just as He is we will encounter a love that only infinite perfection allows. We will be compelled to walk in the grace that only His limitless goodness and all sufficiency make possible. Our heart will begin to find rest in the unchanging nature of God. We will soar with the confidence of knowing He will not change His attitude towards us. When we let go of the image of our created god we open the door to the place where the limitless power of God meets His tender mercies, were His justice meets the cross of Christ and where His unfathomable wisdom meets the heart of the Father. When we cease trying to make God understandable and allow Him to draw our fearful hearts towards his Majesty, we will soon discover that the very traits which had compelled us to fear will become the source of our strength and everlasting joy! As the truth of God penetrates our heart, faith is born. It will no longer be a faith based in our own merit or goodness, but rather a faith grounded in the confidence of beginning to know something of what God is really like!

“The greatness of God rouses fear within us, but His goodness encourages us not to be afraid of Him. To fear and not be afraid –that is the paradox of faith.” – A.W. Tozer

Child of God

I had another topic in mind as I went to write this, however since fatherhood is all so new to me I am compelled to write about my baby girl again. An amazing thing about my daughter is that life is so new for her. It is not often you get to see someone forming their beliefs and expectations from the start. The way a new baby learns to process life before all the brokenness of the world gets in the way, is taking me back to the start of where I think faith should begin, back to the simplicity of a parent and a child. My daughter’s new identity is being shaped by her perception of my attitude towards her. As I am learning how to love her, God is calling me back to an identity formed by His attitude towards me.

One thing you will quickly notice about my child is that she is so alert, she is always looking, reaching, touching, and tasting as she tries to take in the world around her and put all the information together. Though her understanding is very limited you can see that she is beginning to recognize something… her mommy and daddy! Although she does not fully grasp who I am, she does know that when she is upset and frightened, she will find me kind and caring. She knows that when I greet her in the morning she can expect a warm hug and a goofy grin… she may even get the daddy dance! She may not wholly know why, but being in the presence of her mommy and daddy brings her a feeling of contentment and well being. Her experiences with us are teaching her that we can be trusted. As I hold her in my arms, she will reach out her hand to touch my face; she searches out my eyes and just seems to get lost in the discovery of how it feels to be loved.

As I sit and hold my daughter I softly sense the voice of the Father calling me to be His child. He is inviting me to crawl into His lap and curl-up in His arms, to reach for His face and to get lost in His eyes as I discover how it feels to be loved. Though I may not fully grasp all the mysteries of who God is, I can know that He is my daddy and I am safe in His arms… I think this is a great place to restart the journey of knowing Him!

'Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God' - John 1:12

Did you just call me a Sheep…?

John 10:14
14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—


As I write this I am pondering my life and frankly I am a little embarrassed by the up and down nature of my emotions. One day I can take on the world, yet the next I don’t want to get out of bed. Someone may speak a word of encouragement to me and I'll feel a swell of confidence about who I am, yet I can soon be hit with a crippling sense of insecurity. I believe the rollercoaster nature of my life comes down to my search for identity. I am constantly searching for who I am. Each day I subconsciously compile information about myself… do people seem to like me… do I make them laugh… do they think I’m someone… was I noticed for the job I did at work? I then take all the information, add it up and draw a conclusion. If I don’t like the result I may try and be someone different the next day. No wonder my attitude about myself varies so much from moment to moment! God never meant for me to spend so much of my efforts on this search for self. He very clearly told me who I am and gave me a metaphor to help me remember. He called me a sheep… A sheep!

Could He not have found a better metaphor? How about one I can identify with a little easier! Maybe an eagle soaring proudly through a canyon or say a fierce lion taking down a wildebeest… something… anything… just not a sheep!! Sheep are the dumbest animals on the face of the earth! A Sheep can drown in a mud puddle or plunge to its death because one of its buddies walks off a cliff. A sheep can’t even turn themselves over when they roll on their back (I may have put on some weight, but I am not to that point yet). Is God just insulting me or is there perhaps something else to be drawn from this comparison?

I think God meant the comparison to be a gift that ends our struggle for identity. Think for a moment about the other animals. An eagle draws confidence from the power of its wings or a lion from the strength of it jaw. A sheep however, is completely dependant on its shepherd for its well being. A good shepherd is always preparing the pasture for his flock, if the pasture is no longer just right, he will move them to a better place. Sheep can not protect themselves; therefore, a good shepherd must be on constant alert for predators. Sheep are so prone to wander that the shepherd must always be ready to go after them and bring them back to the safety of his pasture. Healthy and unhealthy sheep are no different from each other; each is equally unable to care for its needs, each has the same tendencies and faults. Healthy sheep are only identified as such because of the meticulous care of their shepherd. The same is true for me. When I can humbly admit that I am just a simple sheep, I can cease trying to find my identity in anything other than my Shepherd. Here I find the freedom to trust in His strength and no longer feel the need to prove my own. I can begin to rest knowing the Shepherd is attentive to my needs. I will find my significance in my Shepherds call to be part His flock. No longer do I need to discover who I am, because I have found my identity… I am a sheep of the good Shepherd!

Micah 5:4
4 He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the LORD, in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God. And they will live securely, for then his greatness will reach to the ends of the earth.

The Heart of a Father

I am a proud (very proud) father of a nearly 6 month old little girl. She has come into our life and turned everything on its head! Sleep is no longer a simple pleasure, instead several hours of sleep in a row is now something to be celebrated! She is the smallest member of our household, yet she is also the most demanding. Most of the day is spent making sure her needs are met… did she sleep enough… eat enough… get her bath… is her diaper clean? After all that work the least she could do is say thank you!!! I do all this for her even though she can do nothing for me. Yet, I love her deeper than I ever thought possible! It is a joy just to hold her. I would give my life for her without a second thought. My daughter is giving me a clearer understanding of unconditional love. I desire nothing from her, other than her own happiness. I know as I walk down the road of fatherhood the limits of my own humanity will begin to interfere with this picture of love. I know my selfishness, pride, and insecurity will cloud the heart of the Father working through me. However, the heart that beats in me for my little girl is giving me a clearer picture of the Father’s heart. When I am confronted by the limits of my own humanity I am overjoyed by the perfect love of God. If my broken and frail heart can love this little child so deeply, what must the love of God actually be like? If I can be overcome with joy by her simple smile, how much more must this be true of God? If I can deeply desire my daughter’s highest good, how great must God’s plan for us truly be? If my heart is gripped by the tears and pain of my child, must God not also be attentive to our cries?

God is supremely powerful and completely perfect in His being. There is no end to the depths of His wisdom. He is in need of nothing and His goodness, mercy, and love will never change nor alter. Yet, He chose to be identified as Father! A father unlike any we have known on earth, a father who knows the deepest hurts of his children and responds with His healing embrace. A Father of truly unconditional, perfect love… He fully loves us even though we can give nothing back! At the core of this great and mighty God beats the loving, warm and protecting heart of a father… what a joy and honor to be the objects of His affection!!!

Galatians 4:6 6
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."

Economic Prospective

All the talk these days seems to be about ‘this economy’! It seems all the voices around me are telling me to be afraid. In the midst of all that seems to be failing around me, I am left with one question... can I trust Him? When I allow my fear to tell me He can not be trusted I want to run to my own strength. Yet, the circumstances around me have shown me the pointlessness of my own self reliance. I am left with no other option but to trust Him. However, this leaves me with a problem... I don't really know Him. I know only a broken image of Him. I have created a god of my own imagination, an image formed out of my own brokenness. If I am going to trust Him, I must know the truth of Him. No longer can I settle for our culture’s definition of His goodness. I must know the unfathomable reaches of His goodness. I must learn of His grace that is beyond limits. If I am to live this life in faith then I must know Him beyond the bounds of knowledge to the point of experience. I must let go of my picture of Him and allow the image that only the brush in the Master’s hand can paint. I must let go of my imperfect view of Him and allow His presence to reveal the perfection of Him. I want to live through this time in relationship with Him, a relationship that allows me to fully drink from the wonder of Him.

This is truly a difficult time in terms of the world’s economy! However, I believe we can look back on this time as the most blessed! God is revealing Himself in the midst of all the madness. The truths of the Kingdom of God are on display and this is our chance to let go of cultural Christianity and grab hold of our God as never before. God is calling us to the adventure of truly living in His care. Let Him use the fear around you to bring you to the lasting peace of resting in His gentle hands… What a time to be a Christian!!!

Jeremiah 17:7-8
7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. 8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

God Revealed

7”If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14:7)

Imagine what was in the minds of the disciples at this statement. They had grown up with stories of God far different from what they had seen in Jesus. The accounts of God speaking forth creation, and delivering His people from Egypt would have no doubt given them a picture into the power of God. They would have heard stories of God leading His people as a pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night. Stories of Mount Sinai covered in smoke with thunder and lighting flashing as God descends to inscribe the 10 commandments would have brought thoughts of God’s might and holiness. The God they had imagined was powerful, yet unapproachable and frightening…

Jesus however, had intoxicated them! When he said follow me they could not say no, he had captured them. He was warm, inviting, and amazing. They would recall their trip to the little town of Nain [Luke 7:11-15] and the shock they felt as Jesus barged into a funeral to comfort a woman who and lost her only son. They remember the tenderness in his voice as he tells her not to cry and the wonder they felt as his touch raised the man to life. They’ll never forget the joyous smile Jesus had on his face as he gave the woman back her son. Or maybe they would remember how indignant Jesus became as they tried to keep the little children [Mark 10:13-1] from him and how quickly his indignation turned to tenderness as he held the children in his arms.

How could this Jesus who they had lived with, prayed with, cried with, and even laughed with be the God who created them? How could he be the God they had longed to know, but had always feared? Could it be true that God was among them and that he had longed for them to know Him?
Could it be true for us? How could the great and powerful God of heaven have come to earth so that we could know Him? Know him not as a flame in a bush, or as a fire in the sky. But to know him as he truly is, a God of compassion and love. He is a God who reacts to the hurting of his people and who holds His children tenderly in His arms. Now thanks to Jesus we have a glimpse into the nature of God and access to His presence. There starts the amazing journey of letting the knowledge of Him captivate our minds and change our hearts…

India

I have been back from my second trip to India for over a month now, yet I still don’t feel home. A part of me has changed and I don’t feel I can ever be the same. It has been hard to try and put into words what my eyes have seen and what my heart has felt. It was moments of great joy along with moment of deep sadness, times of great hope and times of desperation. India is truly a land of contrast, from the super rich, to the desperately poor, from the deep darkness of evil, to the overpowering light of the power of God. It is a land of human excesses and extreme human suffering; yet from the rich to the poor, the healthy to the sick, the need is the same... they need the power of the love of our Great God to overcome the darkness.

I still wake up at night haunted by the faces of the hurting, hungry, crippled and rejected people of India. The beautiful people created in God’s Image living in the lie that they have no worth, living without hope when hope is just a breath away. God responds to the hurting, God’s heart is to bring relief to the suffering, to comfort those afraid and to mend the crippled. He came into this world of darkness and hopelessness and brought the remedy of Christ. He has pierced through our own darkness and brought to us the cure. We have been given healing, we have been given hope, we have been given a love that the earth can not contain and we have been called to bring it to those who have not heard. We are called to be moved by the suffering of others as Christ was moved by our suffering, we are called to love as we have been loved, care as He cares. We are called to bring His healing touch, His tender words, His comforting embrace and His open arms. We are called to align our hearts with His and be moved to action. We are called to bring the remedy of Christ to a world so desperate for a cure.

Yes, I truly don’t feel back at home yet and I am so thankful! I don’t want to be comfortable. I don’t want to get lost in the daily routine and emptiness of this place I call home. My home is with my Father and He still has work for me to do here. However, when God calls me home I pray that I will see the faces of those who haunt my sleep, see them no longer suffering because God as taken them in His arms and wiped every tear from their eyes, here they will walk in the bliss of heaven for eternity long because we brought to them the remedy.