I played in a softball game the other day and on my way back to my car after the game I noticed a woman screaming at her daughter for not unlocking her door in a timely manner. This woman was truly enraged by what to most would seem so trivial. I do not think this woman is any more evil than any of us; her brokenness is simply controlling her life and actions. She is struggling to cope with her pain and tragically the amazing woman God created her to be is masked. This woman is a total stranger to me and I know nothing of her past, but I am willing to bet that her growing up was filled with anger and volatility and now her daughter will grow up much the same.Let me back up a moment and tell you a little about what had been going on in my heart prior to noticing this exchange between a parent and child. As I was driving to the game I was listening to a David Crowder song called Never Let Go, the song speaks of God’s faithfulness and firm grip on our lives. I love this song and have heard it countless times; however in this moment I knew God was speaking to my heart something new. Back up even earlier in my day and I was reading a book that was speaking of the brokenness in our lives and our natural coping mechanisms. The author described how we can become damaging to the people around us and not even realize our action since we are functioning from a point of survival and our grip with reality is blurred by our own pain.
So, let’s return to the scene in the parking lot, this woman was painting a clear picture of the authors warning about our survival patterns. Reality would say that a child not unlocking the door quickly enough is not something to get angry about, however through the filter of her own damaged life that reality was lost. And this is what God was speaking to me through the song that I was moved by on the way to the game. He was faithful to not let go of me in my brokenness! That should be me; I should be lost in my world of coping and be leaving a legacy of damage and destruction. Yet, God in His amazing love and grace rescued me! He brought me the greatest blessings I could have ever hoped for, he brought me to reality! And what were the blessings that He used to bring about such healing? It was losing everything that I held on to for comfort, it was a few years of the greatest pain I have ever walked through. I will spare you the details, but the last few years of my life have been a bit of a roller coaster ride. Yet, I am more thankful to God for bringing me face to face with my pain than any other gift He has given me! God is not cruel; He does not bring the pain for its own sake! I already had the pain in my life; however, it was hidden in my world of survival!
I have prayed since the moment I knew I would be a dad that I would pass on a new legacy to my children, I didn’t fully know what that prayer meant, but I am starting to see the path God needed to take me down to answer that prayer. He needed to heal my pain! We often walk through a season of pain, failure, and struggle only to feel that God has abandoned us or worse yet that He is punishing us for not measuring up. This could not be further from the truth; we serve a God that will never let go of us! He is always working for our good. God had no other choice than to strip me bare in order that I might find Him as He really is, and it is here in reality that life becomes a passionate pursuit of Him that pursued us. I have tasted and seen that He is good and I am hungry for more! And this will be the legacy that I will pass on to my children! Run after God for He is more than you can ever imagine Him to be!
